The fact that there is not a popular nickname for the type of movie I am about to talk about should clue you in to how rare they are and why I feel they need more attention.
So for a while now, I have been keeping a short list in my head of films that I think communicate (in some small way) what its like to be a man in the modern world. These films deal with issues that men face. We live in an increasingly technological and feminized world, which strike me as good things in general... But very little art is created to give a voice to mens emotions about our changing role in this culture or the fact that in some ways we are being displaced altogether. We once where hunters, warriors, protectors, fathers, explorers, risk takers... and now we are often asked to tightly control all those instincts and yet it is those very things that still make us viable and desirable biologically. We are being pulled in two different directions. Now before I start losing people, keep in mind I am speaking about individuals. I won't argue that men have needed to share the power, but our culture doesn't seem to have collectively given a rats ass about how these sweeping changes have affected men emotionally. Of course, men are not supposed to HAVE feelings, and women may not notice because they are enjoying the improved status that has been so hard won over the last century. In many cases our culture is counter balancing too dramatically on the individual level and many poor schmucks (is that word an old slang for penis?) get bowled over by the changes, never really knowing what exactly is expected of them. It seems that the pitfalls of being a man (not a boy, by the way. Boy-hood is still highly praised and tolerated, which is part of the big joke) are more treacherous than ever. It would be nice if our entertainment didn't treat us all like uncaring, action addicted, warmongering, sex crazed, bumbling fools.
These films at least take a stab at it... they are so few and far between that it makes me sad. Hopefully there will be more as men and women wake up to the need to stare down the changing role of men.
Growing list, first draft: (Got suggestions?)
World According to Garp
Bottle Rocket
Punch Drunk Love
About Shmit
Lost In Translation
Falling Down
American Splendor
Notice something interesting about that list? They are all pretty small films. I would venture to say that most people have never heard of most of them.
Oh also, here is something fun to do... go into a book store and ask to see the "Men's Studies Section" if they have such a thing... laugh at how pitifully small it is in comparison to books for women or LGBT folk.
*June 2013 Update*
Actually Mr. Coogan is making this a theme in his work I also just got done watching Saxondale and although the title character is difficult to "love" he is struggling with a lot of these same issues. getting older, losing respect, being seen as ineffectual and weak. it is a very melancholy comedy and I really liked it.
Also notable is the absurdist comedy series Snuff Box. With Matt Berry. You just get the feeling that Matt Berry's Hangman character can't seem to escape his own bad behavior and realizes that he can't be loved. He is sabotaging himself with everyone (even his dimwitted best friend) so he won't have to face how lonely he is.
7 comments:
There are alot of movies that don't discriminate against men. What about Meet The Parents? That's a popular movie.
I believe I detect a sarcastic tone in your coment... heh.
Murdock? I'm with you, man. I think that men's role has been changing a lot, and although some for good, some not. Now, I'm a teenager, living in Mexico, and I see a lot of women with jobs now. That's great, excellent actually, but then, if it's like that in my house, who the hell will raise my kids? I don't want somebody who ain't their mother to do it. Also, there are higher divorce rates since women are more independent. I do not mean to be anti-feminist, women have worked hard, but the old system worked, and for a reason, wouldn't you say so?
JJ, I think we may agree on some things, but I am gonna disagree that the old system "worked". When I was a kid in the 60's and 70's, (in the U.S.) divorces may have been lower because you were expected to stay together, but unhappy people were just as common. So, I believe men need to think about how to change and adapt to the way things are now as much as women have and THATS what is getting ignored. We both know its not going back to the way it was, and trust me, we don't want it to.
So, you bring up a point that I happen to know something about. Check this out.
I have a two and a half year old son and my wife and I decided that we did not want to put him in daycare or have a nanny. So, since I work from home and only need to sleep a few hours each night, I have been the main person taking care of our son for the first few years of his life. Yup! Thats right, I take care of the baby. I work at night till about 2am and then get up at 6 when he usually wakes up. His mom gets home around 5:30, we all spend some time together, then I rest a bit and I start work again... working right now in fact. : )
Now, I see this as showing how strong a man can be. I deal with some "mommy's" at the playground and other places who chat, talk on the phone, read, play games on their phone and generally ignore their kids completely. Meanwhile, maybe because I feel I have to be better than average, my son knows all his letters, can count to twenty, has a huge vocabulary and can do some pretty amazing stuff (like he has his own camera that he takes pictures with. -Not a toy, a regular point and shoot polaroid digital). Now I work pretty much the same amount as I did before he was born, plus I take care of him during the day and it has nearly killed me, but I have kept it up and other guys could do it too, because men, given the chance, can be hard working and will push themselves when something needs to be done well.
So, you answer your question "who the hell will raise my kids?" Well, how about you buddy? You up to the task?
Things change, the mark of a survivor is rolling with those changes and still keeping the best of what was good about before. Nobility, honor, strength. Those are things that men can ALWAYS aspire to.
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