Monday, July 15, 2013

Favorite Musician Jokes

Q: What is the difference between a dead opossum lying in the road and a dead trombone player lying in the road?
A: The opossum may have been on his way to a gig.

Q: What dose it mean when drool is coming out of both sides of a drummers mouth?
A: The stage is level.

Here, in my own verbose fashion (and hopefully updated to have less stereotyping crap) is the classic "When drums stop, very bad" joke...

Deep in a jungle, a eco tour was camped for the night. In the darkness, distant drums began a relentless beat that continued through the night and then into the morning, gradually increasing in volume and intensity. The tour members were disturbed and went to their guide to ask if they were in any danger, but the guide tried to reassured them: "NO! Drums good! When drums stop, very bad." The drumming continued, never stopping and steadily becoming more fevered and menacing. Once again the tour members, tired from lack of sleep and feeling very unsafe, questioned the guide, but the guide reiterated, as best he could in a language foreign to him, "NO! Drums good! When drums stop, VERY bad." This continued day after day and night after night until one morning the drumming suddenly stopped! The tour members, unsettled from lack of sleep began to panic. Some started to scream, cry, hide, or run mindlessly in the building terror of the camp. The tour leader found the guide, grabbed him by the shoulders and screamed "Whats happening!?" The guide frozen in place and staring into the distance slowly whispered: "When drums stop, VERY, VERY bad," The tour leader shook the guide and begged "YES! YES! But why is it bad? What happens when the drums STOP!!!" And with trembling lips and a single tear streaming down his cheek the guide spit out the words "Bass solo."