Our Written Language Is Flawed And Confusing...

Should we try harder to understand those who question it?

Horydczak, Theodor, 

It is a mess, I have said it for as long as I can remember. I have lots of examples, like silent letters, words that sound nothing like they are spelled, the fact that y is only "sometimes" a vowel... The list is very long and I have never had the energy to compile it. Luckily one woman has taken the time to explain why she had so much trouble with at least one aspect of it. In her article Kate Gladstone tackles what it is to be a person with autism dealing with the insanity that is handwriting.

It is fascinating and revealing. See it here... 

So much of her article strikes a chord with my personal experience. I have "learning differences" and although there is no real way to compare that to the experiences of someone like the author or this article, I hope it is safe to say that we each see the world differently than others do to varying degrees. And that it won't offend when I say that I feel like I may be able to understand and empathize. There are many things about our written language that have always annoyed me greatly because they are so inefficient. Often parts of it are so senseless and ridiculous that it seemed to me as a child that someone must have been playing a cruel joke on me. Why should it be this way, why wouldn't anyone try to fix it? And most of all, why is everyone pretending it is normal!?

It's a common thread in my life, I despise inefficiency and am drawn to simple and elegant design. I rail against things that don't make sense (cents, sents) and feel like I need to do something to correct a problem that I clearly see in front of me. Honestly, people who just accept the status quo without question sometimes seem weak willed to me. Just saying "Thats the way it is" is NOT an answer I have ever found acceptable, even when I was small.

So when Kate said in her article "When our best efforts at understanding are penalized, we often stop trying or caring." That really hit home... It was something I had often thought myself. Yes, what ever you do, don't be that clever kid that can see the folly in the flawed language that your teachers are tasked with instructing you in at all costs. Hopefully kids with differences have it better than her and I did. 

It has taken me my whole life to be able to compose the text you are reading now with some amount of confidence... Even though I likely could have thought it or spoke the words when I was very young. I have wrestled this monster for decades, and it is an ugly beast. The funny thing being, is that once most people learn to a point that they are comfortable, they just stop. I could not, I needed to prove that I was not the idiot I was being made out to be, so I kept going, and I still learn and understand more and more little by little. Forcing it all into my head like shoving unruly snakes into a basket with many holes. I can do more now than I could when I was 40. I could do more when I was 40 than when I was 30, and if you look at my writings from when I was 20... Back when most people are "finished learning such things"... Well, let's just say I would be deeply embarrassed. For most, our written language is either quirky, and fun, or boring, and automatic. For me, it has always been an oppressive creature pinning me down. Finally, later in life, I feel like there is hope I may eventually get the thing into a half nelson.

Breaking my own rule on celebrity deaths.

I am not quick to heap praise on celebrities when they past away, especially if they have taken their own life or abused substances to the point that it kills them. I don't want to add to the mystique of the tragic famous person that died too young. They are just people after all, they had talent and got a series of lucky breaks and perhaps worked very hard... But that makes them no different or better than the people in my life that I personally know and love. Those are the people I want to reserve my admiration for.

The death of Robin Williams however, presents a special case for me and makes it difficult to stay within those guidelines. He was a friend to a sad little boy, a like minded deep thinker to a maturing young man, a crusader for truth to someone who wanted the world to be honest and true, and a constant reminder to a cynic that the world and the bodies we live in are ridiculous, hilarious, and beautiful... At least the characters he played were all those things. He was the near perfect mixture of white faced and red nosed clown. He skillfully took the words and direction of very clever people and turned them into unforgettable performances that reminded us of our mortality and then let us know that it was OK to be mortal... I can't say I will miss him, because I never knew HIM, and I still have all the gifts he gave me. I can only say that I am somewhat selfishly sad that I will not be receiving any more of those amazing gifts, and that I never got a chance to personally say thank you.

Here is a partial list of the Robin Williams movies that I love him in. Not all are great movies but I still enjoyed him in them. People tend to ignore some of them… I see that as a mistake.

The World According to Garp (See this film, don’t question me… just do it!)

Moscow on the Hudson (Not bad, I recall being moved want to see it again)

Good Morning, Vietnam (Great and everyone knows it)

Dead Poets Society (Great and everyone knows it)

Awakenings (Brain oddness is a personal interest to me, in a "there for the grace of god" sorta way)

The Fisher King (I fully expect I would go mad the same way his character had in this film. Its hard for me to watch because I feel it hitting so close to home)

Hook (Made me emotional when I first saw it, now as a father it hold even more meaning, who else could have played that role? I wish I could edit it and take out some of the cheesy stuff but, still)

Toys (Hey, don’t judge me!)

Good Will Hunting (Great and everyone knows it)

What Dreams May Come (Sappy and bombastic, sure…. do I love it. YES! Can you imagine watching this film NOW while thinking about his own passing. I think that would turn me into a mess)

Bicentennial Man (Screw you haters! Hard speculative fiction! Bite it and love it!)

One Hour Photo (Freaky)

World's Greatest Dad (Also one that will be hard to watch again now… great film).

I Should Just Never Sleep

Adapted from a nightmare I had tonight:


I knew HE was coming again but I was older and wiser now. I could call upon all the guile that 33 years since it had happened now afforded me. I could not let him steal the same things from you.

I ran down the wet street my strides seeming smaller as I ran and he chased me, I turned up the narrow street of the old city and past the men I had hired to intercept him... and I kept running. I heard them call out through the light rain "we will take care of this one... run along now" I knew that you would soon be safe from him... and I kept running. I was smaller now for sure.

Eventually I made it to the doorway of the shop. The man who was the boss of the other men I had hired, greeted me in gleeful haste asking if I had the components for him... I reached into the pockets of the coat that was now so large on me and pulled out the package for him. He didn't need to mix anything or chant, he just kicked open an azure painted wall to reveal a contraption which had a large wheel that he cranked twice with grand, fluid gestures. Then he tossed my package in the top and the sky opened up making the street even more wet and filling the air with a loud hiss from the hard rain. Even with all the noise when he leaned in close and spoke I could hear him as if it was snowing instead. "it's done, he is gone. The one you were protecting is safe."

I sat down in the chair he offered me rain falling on us both. I was so small now, so helpless and young, very hansom in my youth like I used to be... like you would be some day. "Do you hear the music coming from upstairs? Would you like to come up for a while and get dry?" Something was wrong with me... I was having trouble moving or speaking. I started to tell him that I was leaving but he reached out and I recoiled and froze as he touched my face... I could not move and I was falling backwards in my chair at an impossibly slow rate. I now understood that the money I had paid was only part of the price... I was helpless, powerless, young, beautiful and in the control of another man with no empathy for my horror.

I felt myself being carried away... but I knew you were safe.

Creepy I know... But thats how my brain works when I fall asleep in my office chair!