Laying down on the battlefield is something I may understand...

Planes full of innocents shot out of the sky, never-ending war fought over dusty old books and dusty old concepts, some police that seem to think they are the military and the population is the enemy, efforts for gender equality that seem to be perpetually stalled or moving at such a snails pace as to seem stalled. Lingering race problems that should have been nothing but a bad memory by now. Sure its bad, and I think I may know how you feel brother... I have tried too. I only wish I could have done a fraction of the good you did. But still, I know what its like to try so hard for so long and not feel like it really made much difference. I am so sorry you could not stay longer. Learning that you have fallen is like a lance through the heart. I am supposed to be smart, and with that, I have felt a responsibility... Am I supposed to find some way to make things better? Is THAT the same feeling that brought you down? Because if it is. I understand... How can creators, thinkers, entertainers... bringers of knowledge, truth and joy build any faster than the greed driven takers, and hate filled destroyers rip away at the things we build? We have little snack trays of truths wrapped up in songs, stories, science and jokes and they have t-shirt cannons of glitter, wealth, fear, glamor, and hate. Still I don't agree that it was time to surrender even if you felt like you had done all you could.

Cameras on my mind

Cameras are on my mind. Screw google glass as a plaything for people addicted to the digital teat... how about putting a small POV camera on EVERY police officer in America. Every gun, every badge, every dash. Camera, camera, camera. I can't think of a good reason anyone should object. I want to trust the police, I want others to be able to trust them. But the problem is they are fallible people just like all of us. No amount of training will solve every problem when people are thrown into the mix with all their flaws. I know some efforts exist to make this happen, I am going to look into them and see what the pros and cons are.

Breaking my own rule on celebrity deaths.

I am not quick to heap praise on celebrities when they past away, especially if they have taken their own life or abused substances to the point that it kills them. I don't want to add to the mystique of the tragic famous person that died too young. They are just people after all, they had talent and got a series of lucky breaks and perhaps worked very hard... But that makes them no different or better than the people in my life that I personally know and love. Those are the people I want to reserve my admiration for.

The death of Robin Williams however, presents a special case for me and makes it difficult to stay within those guidelines. He was a friend to a sad little boy, a like minded deep thinker to a maturing young man, a crusader for truth to someone who wanted the world to be honest and true, and a constant reminder to a cynic that the world and the bodies we live in are ridiculous, hilarious, and beautiful... At least the characters he played were all those things. He was the near perfect mixture of white faced and red nosed clown. He skillfully took the words and direction of very clever people and turned them into unforgettable performances that reminded us of our mortality and then let us know that it was OK to be mortal... I can't say I will miss him, because I never knew HIM, and I still have all the gifts he gave me. I can only say that I am somewhat selfishly sad that I will not be receiving any more of those amazing gifts, and that I never got a chance to personally say thank you.

Here is a partial list of the Robin Williams movies that I love him in. Not all are great movies but I still enjoyed him in them. People tend to ignore some of them… I see that as a mistake.

The World According to Garp (See this film, don’t question me… just do it!)

Moscow on the Hudson (Not bad, I recall being moved want to see it again)

Good Morning, Vietnam (Great and everyone knows it)

Dead Poets Society (Great and everyone knows it)

Awakenings (Brain oddness is a personal interest to me, in a "there for the grace of god" sorta way)

The Fisher King (I fully expect I would go mad the same way his character had in this film. Its hard for me to watch because I feel it hitting so close to home)

Hook (Made me emotional when I first saw it, now as a father it hold even more meaning, who else could have played that role? I wish I could edit it and take out some of the cheesy stuff but, still)

Toys (Hey, don’t judge me!)

Good Will Hunting (Great and everyone knows it)

What Dreams May Come (Sappy and bombastic, sure…. do I love it. YES! Can you imagine watching this film NOW while thinking about his own passing. I think that would turn me into a mess)

Bicentennial Man (Screw you haters! Hard speculative fiction! Bite it and love it!)

One Hour Photo (Freaky)

World's Greatest Dad (Also one that will be hard to watch again now… great film).