Our Written Language Is Flawed And Confusing...

Should we try harder to understand those who question it?

Horydczak, Theodor, 

It is a mess, I have said it for as long as I can remember. I have lots of examples, like silent letters, words that sound nothing like they are spelled, the fact that y is only "sometimes" a vowel... The list is very long and I have never had the energy to compile it. Luckily one woman has taken the time to explain why she had so much trouble with at least one aspect of it. In her article Kate Gladstone tackles what it is to be a person with autism dealing with the insanity that is handwriting.

It is fascinating and revealing. See it here... 

So much of her article strikes a chord with my personal experience. I have "learning differences" and although there is no real way to compare that to the experiences of someone like the author or this article, I hope it is safe to say that we each see the world differently than others do to varying degrees. And that it won't offend when I say that I feel like I may be able to understand and empathize. There are many things about our written language that have always annoyed me greatly because they are so inefficient. Often parts of it are so senseless and ridiculous that it seemed to me as a child that someone must have been playing a cruel joke on me. Why should it be this way, why wouldn't anyone try to fix it? And most of all, why is everyone pretending it is normal!?

It's a common thread in my life, I despise inefficiency and am drawn to simple and elegant design. I rail against things that don't make sense (cents, sents) and feel like I need to do something to correct a problem that I clearly see in front of me. Honestly, people who just accept the status quo without question sometimes seem weak willed to me. Just saying "Thats the way it is" is NOT an answer I have ever found acceptable, even when I was small.

So when Kate said in her article "When our best efforts at understanding are penalized, we often stop trying or caring." That really hit home... It was something I had often thought myself. Yes, what ever you do, don't be that clever kid that can see the folly in the flawed language that your teachers are tasked with instructing you in at all costs. Hopefully kids with differences have it better than her and I did. 

It has taken me my whole life to be able to compose the text you are reading now with some amount of confidence... Even though I likely could have thought it or spoke the words when I was very young. I have wrestled this monster for decades, and it is an ugly beast. The funny thing being, is that once most people learn to a point that they are comfortable, they just stop. I could not, I needed to prove that I was not the idiot I was being made out to be, so I kept going, and I still learn and understand more and more little by little. Forcing it all into my head like shoving unruly snakes into a basket with many holes. I can do more now than I could when I was 40. I could do more when I was 40 than when I was 30, and if you look at my writings from when I was 20... Back when most people are "finished learning such things"... Well, let's just say I would be deeply embarrassed. For most, our written language is either quirky, and fun, or boring, and automatic. For me, it has always been an oppressive creature pinning me down. Finally, later in life, I feel like there is hope I may eventually get the thing into a half nelson.

The Internet As A Digital Side Show

Welcome to the digital freak show! Feeling uncomfortable yet?

Untitled Shahn, Ben, 1898-1969, photographer. 

Recently I was reading back through some old posts I made on various message boards and I came across a thread from 2007 in which people where mocking the public behavior of a rising "internet star" who self described as being a highly functioning autistic. The person was using the internet to make a spectacle of themselves by posting videos of outrageous and potentially dangerous antics and people were eating it up and at the same time showing very little understanding or compassion for the underlying problems that could be leading to his admittedly unusual and potentially threatening behavior. The whole thing reminded me of something... and then it dawned on me, it's the new equivalent of the circus side show! And we thought we were soooo evolved... pft! We are doing the same crap. Voyeuristically watching others who are somehow different so that we can mock them or at best pity them, but with this new version, we are sparred the "indignity" of paying money to create this artificial chasm between "us" and "them", it is mostly free, and the best thing about it is that we can be as brutal as we want because we feel anonymous. We never have to look them or anyone else in the eye while doing it. So we are spared the shame and guilt we used to feel when we had to gather in public to try desperately to feel better about ourselves. Its all so private... and clean... and digital.

Ah, the magic of the internet.

Here is what I wrote back in 2007 that effectively ended the original thread dead cold...

"*Disclaimer: Doc is not an expert on brain disorders... he just has a few personal theories about them.* 

Assuming we take the information given at face value, the bottom line for me is that the person seems to have problems... possibly both physiological and psychological. For that reason, I don't know if I want to participate in mocking him publicly. 

He IS putting himself out there to be mocked for sure... but if we choose not to take the bait, then other people will be less likely to seek fame from encouraging ridicule of their shortcomings. And to be honest, I am not so sure he "gets" the underlying tone of his "popularity", he seems to be not entirely able to successfully interact socially after all. I wonder if any attention he receives satisfies a need in him, even if it is negative and can only add to his issues down the road. Will making him "famous" stop him from acting badly in public and getting arrested in places he goes to look for girls? I don't think it will. 

To me his "star status" just seems like a digital equivalent to an old circus side show. Something we as a culture thought we were beyond but in fact we are still starring at the people who are different from what is considered average because it helps us each individually feel more "normal". 

As far as him having psychological issues that go beyond being autistic, who is to say how much being autistic screws with your self esteem and general mental health? Aspects of your brain function may be normal or even superior to average but I think that could be a serious detriment to being otherwise balanced because you may have the ability to comprehend just how your autism effects your life and limits what you can accomplish. I think thats gotta mess with ya. 

Brain dysfunction has a wide range of effects on people and we are nowhere near being able to understand it fully. I think at some point in the future we will have a better grasp of just how unique and different each persons "mind" is and we look back on the idea of thinking that people are either "normal" or "abnormal" as very naive."

Laying down on the battlefield is something I may understand...

Planes full of innocents shot out of the sky, never-ending war fought over dusty old books and dusty old concepts, some police that seem to think they are the military and the population is the enemy, efforts for gender equality that seem to be perpetually stalled or moving at such a snails pace as to seem stalled. Lingering race problems that should have been nothing but a bad memory by now. Sure its bad, and I think I may know how you feel brother... I have tried too. I only wish I could have done a fraction of the good you did. But still, I know what its like to try so hard for so long and not feel like it really made much difference. I am so sorry you could not stay longer. Learning that you have fallen is like a lance through the heart. I am supposed to be smart, and with that, I have felt a responsibility... Am I supposed to find some way to make things better? Is THAT the same feeling that brought you down? Because if it is. I understand... How can creators, thinkers, entertainers... bringers of knowledge, truth and joy build any faster than the greed driven takers, and hate filled destroyers rip away at the things we build? We have little snack trays of truths wrapped up in songs, stories, science and jokes and they have t-shirt cannons of glitter, wealth, fear, glamor, and hate. Still I don't agree that it was time to surrender even if you felt like you had done all you could.

Cameras on my mind

Cameras are on my mind. Screw google glass as a plaything for people addicted to the digital teat... how about putting a small POV camera on EVERY police officer in America. Every gun, every badge, every dash. Camera, camera, camera. I can't think of a good reason anyone should object. I want to trust the police, I want others to be able to trust them. But the problem is they are fallible people just like all of us. No amount of training will solve every problem when people are thrown into the mix with all their flaws. I know some efforts exist to make this happen, I am going to look into them and see what the pros and cons are.

Breaking my own rule on celebrity deaths.

I am not quick to heap praise on celebrities when they past away, especially if they have taken their own life or abused substances to the point that it kills them. I don't want to add to the mystique of the tragic famous person that died too young. They are just people after all, they had talent and got a series of lucky breaks and perhaps worked very hard... But that makes them no different or better than the people in my life that I personally know and love. Those are the people I want to reserve my admiration for.

The death of Robin Williams however, presents a special case for me and makes it difficult to stay within those guidelines. He was a friend to a sad little boy, a like minded deep thinker to a maturing young man, a crusader for truth to someone who wanted the world to be honest and true, and a constant reminder to a cynic that the world and the bodies we live in are ridiculous, hilarious, and beautiful... At least the characters he played were all those things. He was the near perfect mixture of white faced and red nosed clown. He skillfully took the words and direction of very clever people and turned them into unforgettable performances that reminded us of our mortality and then let us know that it was OK to be mortal... I can't say I will miss him, because I never knew HIM, and I still have all the gifts he gave me. I can only say that I am somewhat selfishly sad that I will not be receiving any more of those amazing gifts, and that I never got a chance to personally say thank you.

Here is a partial list of the Robin Williams movies that I love him in. Not all are great movies but I still enjoyed him in them. People tend to ignore some of them… I see that as a mistake.

The World According to Garp (See this film, don’t question me… just do it!)

Moscow on the Hudson (Not bad, I recall being moved want to see it again)

Good Morning, Vietnam (Great and everyone knows it)

Dead Poets Society (Great and everyone knows it)

Awakenings (Brain oddness is a personal interest to me, in a "there for the grace of god" sorta way)

The Fisher King (I fully expect I would go mad the same way his character had in this film. Its hard for me to watch because I feel it hitting so close to home)

Hook (Made me emotional when I first saw it, now as a father it hold even more meaning, who else could have played that role? I wish I could edit it and take out some of the cheesy stuff but, still)

Toys (Hey, don’t judge me!)

Good Will Hunting (Great and everyone knows it)

What Dreams May Come (Sappy and bombastic, sure…. do I love it. YES! Can you imagine watching this film NOW while thinking about his own passing. I think that would turn me into a mess)

Bicentennial Man (Screw you haters! Hard speculative fiction! Bite it and love it!)

One Hour Photo (Freaky)

World's Greatest Dad (Also one that will be hard to watch again now… great film).

Evil starts a chatroom...

I like the idea of internet shorthand for evil masterminds AFV = Away from victim, YSPFYI = You shall Pay for your insolence, RTH (I leave this one for readers to figure out), etc... I aspire to come up with a list. Any ideas?

The Promise Of Equality stalled...

A friend recently posted about her frustration at the lack of progress in our society on the treatment of women. Well, I have been thinking about this my whole life it seems... and as someone that often gets dismissed at the heated man bashing marathons with a wave and a curt "oh, we don't mean YOU!" I figured I was allowed to offer advice.

Perhaps we have not moved further on the problem because we have been largely ignoring one half of it. We have been talking for many decades about how to help girls and women, but little thought has been put into how to help boys become the men we expect them to be. Yes the pink aisle is a travesty but no one ever talks about the black flaming death aisle. My son told me the other day that boys are "not cute" I quizzed him a bit and found out that it was something one of his teachers had said... we teach little kids that girls are precious and dainty and boys are gross and tough... what bullshit! Wanna know one reason I think things have not completely changed? Fear that little boys may "turn" gay. Most people are not ready to embrace the steps it will take to fundamentally change our society. Boys have their whole self worth pinned to whether or not they can throw a damned ball, or fight, or risk their life. Few people talk about it as a problem... but boys are greatly judged on their size from birth. I would feel so bad for the boys clearly being compared in to our gigantic infant/toddler. Men never ask me if I would try to get our son into sports, but I heard it constantly from women. I finally got fed up with them putting this propaganda in his ear that I started whispering to them that I was giving him coffee to stunt his growth in hopes he would be an artist. Are you a small dude? You are screwed. You will see it in your parents eyes. Boys get abused, and yes, boys get raped, worst of all boys get ignored. And I would say its not only the men in the lives of boys that are messing them up every single day, Women contribute greatly. Back when we were 14, my friends mother constantly railed about the evils of men in front of both her sons (and me). Next time I see two toddler boys beating the hell out of each other and hear the young mothers who have their little girls dressed like princess say "oh well... Boys will be boys!" maybe I should call child protective services. Then there is how fathers are portrayed by the media... Boys grow up seeing fatherhood constantly portrayed as a "joke" or worse, fathers are domineering killjoys, even often the villain. Hardly ever are they cast as loving co-parents who nurture and adore the children. Boys and young men are getting sent the massage that they are "bad" and there is little escape.

We are two halves of a whole... you will never fix a flat by patching a leak in one side of the tire and saying... "Screw the other side! It has 20% less wear over the last decade so it can patch itself!

If we want better equality, we should start by doing these impossible things...
Teach ALL young people respect for the full spectrum of human sexuality.
Teach young people not to use any size and strength advantage to dominate others.
Teach young people not to use sexuality to dominate others.
Be honest about the differences between the sexes and explain why that can be an advantage.
Fundamentally change sports at all levels and remove the gladiatorial element, privilege and worship of athletes.
Fundamentally change the fashion industry... (this is often talked about, but I add it for balance)
Stop treating 16-25 year olds like children; expect more "responsible adult behavior" from young adults. 16-25 year olds are not "KIDS." Treating them like they have no responsibility is robbing them of the time of their life when many important lessons should be naturally learned, Hopefully with some guidance.
Stop worshiping youth culture and acting like 16-25 year olds have the answers... they rarely do.
Fundamentally change or eliminate major religions. (I am encouraged by some recent papal talk)

Mix all that together and wait about 50-100 years for all the remaining assholes (of both genders) to die and things may be noticeably better.